Hey Sisterfriend,

You finally get a quiet moment for yourself…and then guilt taps you on the shoulder.

This issue is all about a sneaky little feeling no one warned us about: joy-shame.

Today’s letter includes:

• ✨ A new way to think about guilt and joy

• 🔎 Tools to help you let go of joy-shame

• 📚 This month’s book picks to stretch your soul

• 🪞 A gentle practice for reconnecting with what makes you feel good

Let’s Begin.

Let me tell you a story…

One that still lingers in my chest like the echo of a truth I didn’t want to face at the time.

It’s the quiet, sneaky guilt that creeps in when we—especially as women over 55—start to hunger for something beyond caregiving, beyond being dependable, beyond the decades of service we’ve already given.

We’ve been trained to believe that wanting more joy is indulgent. That happiness is something we had our shot at in our 20s, and if it didn’t happen then, we need to let it go and be “grateful.”

But here’s what I’ve learned:

You can love your people, honor your past, and still crave something else.

Something for you.

Something that doesn’t have to be explained or justified.

Hey Sisterfriend,

Let’s talk about something that doesn’t get enough airtime: joy-shame. It’s that funny, heavy feeling when you finally get a peaceful moment, smile, maybe even laugh—and then boom.

Guilt.

Like you did something wrong just by enjoying life.

In this note, I’ll show you how to let go of that guilt and make more space for joy in your life. We’ll keep it real, simple, and honest.

Let’s dig in.

Joy isn’t a luxury—it’s fuel. Real talk: when we feel joy, we sleep better, stress less, and even get fewer colds. It’s good for our bodies and our hearts. But if you’re like many women over 50, joy might feel like a memory instead of a habit.

You’ve taken care of everyone else. You’ve been the glue. And now that life has quieted down…you don’t quite know how to let yourself feel good. And when you do? That guilt creeps in.

So Why Is Joy So Hard?

Let’s break it down. Here’s what gets in the way:

Next time you feel joy-shame, call it out. Literally say, “This is joy-shame.” It helps.

Why?

Because naming it gives you power. You aren’t just swimming in guilt. You’re watching it. That means you can do something about it.

Try this: When guilt pops up during a peaceful or fun moment, pause. Breathe. Say, “I see you, guilt.” Then let it pass like a cloud in the sky.

When guilt says, “You don’t deserve this,” or “You should be doing something useful,” answer back. Be your own best friend.

Here are a few comebacks:

• “Joy doesn’t make me selfish. It makes me whole.”

• “Rest is not a reward. It’s a right.”

• “Wanting more doesn’t mean I’m ungrateful.”

The more you practice, the easier it gets. Promise.

Think tiny. Take a walk. Dance in your kitchen. Write in your journal. Watch birds. Wear your favorite earrings on a random Tuesday.

Put joy on your calendar. Make it as real as any appointment.

The more you choose joy, the less space shame has to speak. And guess what? Nobody’s life falls apart when you take 20 minutes for yourself.

In fact, you’ll show up with more love to give.

Each month, we recommend one featured and two bonus books that echo the soul of our theme—books that meet you exactly where you are and gently stretch you into where you’re going.

Which sentence was the hardest to write? Or the easiest?

Post in the comments and share what stirred up for you—or even just post one word that came to mind.

If this landed in your spirit, you’re not alone.

And you don’t have to figure it out alone either.

Next week, in the paid edition, we’ll go deeper:

“Uncovering the Lies You’ve Been Told About Wanting More.”

We’ll break down the cultural conditioning that’s kept so many of us quiet, and give you the tools to reclaim desire—without guilt, without apology.